Can we learn emotional maturity from the Bible?
Is it the duty of the church to make you emotionally intelligent and mature?
One of the most important things you need to come to terms with is that you’re bought over by Christ, body, soul, and spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). We know that in our spirit we are saved and are one with God (1 Corinthians 6:17). But we also know that most of our battles and struggles are in our minds (2 Corinthians 10:15).
It is this same mind that we have been told to renew (Romans 12:2). If we are told to renew it, then that means it is in a state that is quite “unhealthy.” This renewing of our minds is what we often refer to as the believer’s walk in the Spirit.
Galatians 5:16, “Walk in the Spirit, and you shall no, fulfill the desires of the flesh.”
The work of renewing our minds comes through teaching us God’s word, and this is also referred to as the growth of the believer.
1 Peter 2:2, “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby.”
The work of teaching and grooming the believers was given to the church, and the offices of what we call the “fivefold” primarily hold this responsibility.
The purpose of their work was clearly defined:
Ephesians 4:12, “For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.”
Ephesians 4:13, “Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ”
The word “perfecting” means “complete furnishing.”
Question: Does this complete furnishing involve the soul of man?
Answer: Actually that’s where the whole work is, as I’ve explained already.
If it involves the soul of man, does it involve his emotions?
Well, what are emotions?
The English dictionary:
“A person’s internal state of being and involuntary physiological response to an object or a situation, based on or tied to physical state and sensory data.”
The ‘internal state of being’ of a person here refers to his feelings and how he processes things, and this is tied strongly to his worldview, how he views life, his responses to situations and problems of life, etc.
Your emotions are your psychological response to things. How you process things.
And these take place in your mind.
If this mind is renewed with God’s word, it means his emotions are affected also.
If someone breaks your heart and your response is sustained hatred, for instance, that’s because your belief system supports that thought pattern. There is a mindset that okays that reaction. We cannot satisfactorily separate our emotions from our bodies and from our souls. We are one being. All of our parts work in harmony to become the perfect man in Christ.
So can God’s word teach you emotional maturity and intelligence?
God’s word is the primary source for learning emotional maturity and intelligence.
When you read about the peace of God, what do you think it’s referring to? Doesn’t it also have to do with the state of your emotions?
Have you prayed for a long time, and your emotions changed, and you started feeling joyful?
Have you read God’s word before, and all your fears disappeared?
What did you think happened to your emotions?
It fed on God and grew!
As a believer who has a walk with God, you’d have noticed that the real source of your emotional stability is from God’s word and not just from books.
Books can only get so far, but dogged and deep emotional maturity that is strong in the face of any challenge is built as you give your whole being to the reading and hearing of God’s Word.
In case you’re wondering whether my explanation can address emotional pain in the case of a breakup, let’s look at how Jesus processed hurt or an almost-breakup with his disciples.
Now, you might say the relationship dynamics are not the same. One is romantic; the other is not.
So, let’s address that first.
Jesus’ relationship with his disciples, or with us, and our relationship with our partners—which is higher, and which has more at stake?
It is obviously the one we have with Jesus.
So, do we serve God with our emotions? Of course, we do. How else do we serve Him?
In the cadre of love, Jesus placed love above all others.
He said, “No man has a greater love than the one who submits himself to be killed for the sake of another.”
The Apostles who submitted themselves to be tortured and killed, you say common romantic feelings with a woman or man are higher than that? Nah.
In the cadre of love, what we have between God and us is stronger than the romantic love we feel.
That said, Jesus asked his disciples, “Will you also go away?”
This was a heartbreaking moment, no doubt. And even though the moment didn’t climax in an actual heartbreak, we can deduce from Jesus’ tone that He was not about to lose His mind if all the disciples left Him. I dare say, if everyone had left Him at that point, He would have simply gone out to find another 12 to build with again.
Would He be hurt? Certainly.
But would His ministry and life end? No.
That’s how emotionally strong Jesus was. The Bible says He knew the hearts of men, so He wasn’t surprised when Judas betrayed Him. He had known it and had even told him about it. Oh, Jesus had so much emotional intelligence and maturity. And He was never insecure with His disciples because He knew and trusted in God. In His prayer later, He acknowledged that it was God who gave them to Him.
Do you see how our worldview should change concerning what we have, our partners, and our relationships?
I’m not emphatically saying God will give you a spouse. I’m saying Jesus acknowledged God in all His ways, even in the people He lived with and gave His heart to. So, when you’re so insecure in that relationship, and you’re thinking your world will end if this doesn’t work out, my dear, you are a babe.
Yes, this is hard talk, and that’s because marriage and relationships aren’t for kids. So, if you’re not ready to put in the work, why are you setting yourself up for problems? Be like Jesus and confidently adopt that complete mindset. Perfect yet vulnerable. Strong, yet lowly.
If you need a structured plan for studying God’s Word to help you build emotional maturity, I’m happy to help. Send me an email here: meshackignatius@gmail.com or comment “EMOTIONS” below.
EMOTIONS